Letter to My Mother: The One I Never Wrote—But Wish I Had
A letter for my mother, Elisabeth “Mittens” Tolliver — by Jamee Boone
Dear Mommy,
There are so many things I wish I had said out loud—so many “thank yous,” so many “I see yous,” so many “you mattered so much to mes.” I think of all the times we talked—almost every day. No matter how long or short the call, you’d always say, “You made my day.”
And Mommy, I want you to know: you made mine too—over and over again.
Your voice steadied me.
Your laughter carried me.
Your love made me feel like home away from home.
You called me your baby, and I never took that for granted. Even in a family as big as ours—19+!—you made space for me to feel special.
I know being seen as ‘the favorite’ by you, Daddy, and Grandmom sometimes made me feel set apart—not just held differently, but occasionally left out in ways that others didn’t notice.
But Mommy, I want you to know: I never used that love to stand above.
I used it to stay grounded, balanced, and humbled.
My sister SJ and I worked hard to pull the family together during reunions—even when it cost us deeply, often with no reciprocity, even when it hurt. We tried to keep everyone from drifting too far apart.
I hope, deep down, that you knew that.
That you saw us trying to build a legacy in our own children and grandchildren—something that could sustain our family’s sense of connectedness.
There’s so much I wish I’d asked you, so much I still want to say.
But if I could wrap up my heart in this letter, I’d leave you with this:
Thank you for loving me the way you did.
Thank you for seeing me for who I was—and the woman I would become.
I hope I continue to make you (Daddy and Grandmom) proud each and every day.
With all my love,
Your daughter,
Jamee