Reinvention
By Leanne Pedante
On paper, I have gone through a lot of reinventions already in my 41 years here.
One, was the reinvention in my early-mid adulthood; from living in Philadelphia, partying hard, working as a graphic designer - what I like to describe as my whiskey era; to giving up the cigarettes and moving to Los Angeles where I became a fitness instructor and coach.
The other, and most life-changing event that required reinvention was the sudden loss of my husband Miles in 2021.
At the moment, none of these transitions felt like reinventions. They just felt hard. But looking back, I see community as my lifeline to re-emerging on the other side.
I’ve been reading lately about Arnold van Gennep, the anthropologist who coined the phrase ‘rite of passage’. He described transitions as having three phases: Separation, Liminality, and Incorporation. And the third one caught my eye because the ritual transitions that he studied in 1909 were embedded in the community; they were guided by elders or authorities, and your new status wasn’t just announced, it was elevated and witnessed.
We often still get witnessed for emerging into new chapters in our careers: a press release, new title or uniform.
But in our personal reinventions, modern life has left a vacuum. In our personal lives, we now need to find our own way to be witnessed as our new selves. And I didn’t know that I was doing this at the time, but my reinventions relied on finding people who reflected my values and my emerging identity.
When I moved to LA and decided to change careers, I started running for the first time in my life, and joined run clubs, I volunteered with Girls on the Run and Special Olympics, and showed up to marathons to cheer runners on.
In my grief, I have traveled across the world to gather with people who also loved my husband, I deepened relationships with fellow widows, and I have become a resource among friends who struggle after a loss.
I think we still reinvent communally, but now we have to build the village ourselves. We have been left to find our own witnesses. So, the next time you are thrust into transition, find a community. And when you have the chance, be the witness for someone else.
Leanne Pedante is a fitness trainer and certified trauma and resiliency coach whose work helps people connect with their bodies and emotions. She currently helps lead people find movement joy as a founding Coach for Supernatural, a mixed-reality fitness app. Outside of work, she loves baking, volunteering with the SoCal Special Olympics, and making (bad) pottery.
Leanne, you have given every person who reads your powerful essay a great gift. And a meaningful way to understand and personally embrace transitions in our lives. Thank you.