Take Ownership of Your Life

By M. Amber Spivey

My journey with risks started when I fell in love with story-telling and made the choice to study dance in New York at Long Island University, Brooklyn Campus. Deciding to be a dance major is out of the box thinking and it often receives a lot of criticism for not being a logical, stable or certain choice for a young person. And I would agree. . . .

All I remember hearing 20 years ago was the term “starving artist”. You don’t want to be a “starving artist”. I could agree on that but I didn’t care, I was a dreamer, super ambitious, disciplined and dedicated to the evolution of my craft and personhood.

I completed 3 ½ years as a dance major and English minor, I was on the dance team, the dean’s list, a Resident Assistant and in the honor’s program. I was doing all the things. But not enough to stay and graduate. With a semester left until graduation, I had to leave NY, come out of school and return home to DE, to grieve and figure out my next steps. My parents were going through a separation and our home was going through foreclosure. Needless to say, this life event was quite destabilizing, it demanded I look at life from a different perspective in order to see my possibilities.

While home, I began serving at a restaurant and I got back into my career as an artist. I began training at the Philadelphia Dance Company aka PHILADANCO and was offered a position with their apprentice company. I was thrilled, living my dream. But after 5 incredible years training & performing, I became burnt out and was seeking something with more stability and benefits. I realized I was eager for a change and I was in need of a new vehicle.

So I landed what I thought was my dream office job, (office/something people would take seriously) at the University of Delaware, as an administrative assistant. I had a stable income and great benefits. I made great professional connections with staff, professors, grad students, international students, you name them, I was acquainted. I participated in health & wellbeing opportunities and challenges. I became certified as a lead Ally through DEI and I started a Political Science major. I spent 7 years providing excellent support to the Engineering Department.

In the winter of 2021, I decided to start my own business part-time, offering performing arts services, using the skills I had learned as a co. liaison with Philadanco, and honing in on the skills I used as an administrative professional. (managing, supporting, organizing, coordinating, and scheduling) My goal was to act as the booking manager and coordinator by offering a professional performing experience for organizations, companies, non-profits looking to take their event to the next level by adding the beauty and power of the arts. This was also an opportunity to advance the public’s perception of dance as a profession in the state of Delaware.

There comes a time when you may find yourself having outgrown and evolved past the life you’ve built, the season you’re in. The job, house, environment, unhealthy body, and of course the relationships in your old season are no longer able to support the person you are becoming. And this is where radical personal responsibility was the key to unlocking the next phase of my life. Self-leadership, Self-awareness, and Self-responsibility were staple principles for me to investigate and embrace as a woman, I needed to understand my own power and human potential.

What started in 2022 became impossible to ignore in 2023. This intense desire for more freedom, creativity, joy, and personal fulfillment would not leave me alone. It kept knocking at my door. A constant tug on my heart. I enjoyed some aspects of my admin job but I was yearning to grow, to make a massive impact on people and I wanted to continue dancing and creating.

I began to feel like a caged-bird. I realized my income was capped and the opportunities for advancement were less than slim. I applied for 7 of the open positions within the university and only 1 came through, but something didn’t feel absolute about this specific job opportunity, so I turned down the offer. I applied at JP Morgan Chase and Capital One, seeking another administrative position that would compensate me better, only to discover that these were also out of alignment for me. I knew I needed a change, I could feel it, I was learning to trust myself and not the logic of the people around me. I am a firm believer that as a woman our intuition is a powerful navigation. It consistently sheds light on what is disrupting my peace, feelings that need to be processed, emotions to be released and the burning desire for intentional alignment to be pursued.

In 2024, after bearing the grief of my father’s passing from prostate cancer, a painful break-up, surgery and a discontentment that harassed me nearly every day, I put in my two weeks, from the most secure job I’ve ever had. I knew no one was coming to save me and I was being called higher, into the unknown, on a journey of self-discovery, I refused to be defeated by life’s challenges, by a lack of support from family members, by circumstances that were out of my control. I decided to take ownership of my life.

May of this year 2026 will make 2 years being self-employed and working as an independent contractor. Quitting my 9-5 has allowed me the freedom to prioritize rest, it has given me the flexibility to work as a professional dancer, and teaching artist all while learning more about my strongest behavioral patterns and human design. Quitting my 9-5 has given me the freedom to heal my nervous system from crippling anxiety, from lies of not being good enough, or educated enough, learning how to utilize neuroscience to believe past what I see and manifest, and to discard the programming that kept me in a scarcity mindset. It has given me the chance to try new things, to fail, to see what works, to put myself out there, to seek mentorship and most importantly it has afforded me the chance to learn how to create a life I love, learning to work with my natural gifts, skill set and energy. It’s given me the opportunity to discover how creative and powerful I am.

The journey has come with highs and lows, but one that has unraveled me and brought me to the core of who I am. I could not have shed the layers of imposter syndrome, feeling unworthy, and people pleasing, and being abandoned for my life choices without this journey.

Since, leaving my job and taking the risks of being a solopreneur and pursuing my passion. I’ve been able to perform consistently as freelance artist, I received a 2024 Individual Artist Fellowship - Delaware Division of Arts (choreography), I was contracted by DE Contemporary to produce a piece for their 25th Anniversary, I’ve been on tour in a production celebrating the artistry & activism of Frances Harper, serving as an Artist in Residence at Wilmington Alliance facilitating wellness workshops. I’ve impacted the lives of hundreds of children in the public school system as a Teaching Artist with DIAE, I started a wellness retreat for women of color to embrace adventure and heal in community and I traveled to South Africa for a dance.

M. Amber Spivey is an Organizational Wellness Leader, and the founder of I AM ART N MOTION, a transformational wellness company specializing in sustainable performance, resilience, and embodied leadership. Amber is a visionary life coach, human design practitioner, Hatha yoga instructor, breathwork facilitator, and professional dancer. Amber's work is rooted in the power of self-awareness, collective wisdom and authenticity.